HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

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Managing Conflict & Power (Prompt #7)

This prompt reminded me a lot about the topic of my personal narrative. In my personal narrative, I wrote about a conflict that my boyfriend and I regularly argue about. To make the story short, he has a girl that’s a friend that I do not like because he talks to her. I am a jealous girlfriend, and I am not afraid to say it. My boyfriend also knows this, and he knew this when we first started dating, and with time he just got used to it.

Before the whole issue I had with my boyfriend and this girl came to an end, it was constant arguments and fights that ended up tearing us apart every chance we could get. This had a rough effect on our relationship because we weren’t enjoying our time together because it was either going to be a good day or a bad one that would result in no communication until maybe the next day.

I was the main culprit of the cycle. Every time I would see that he was having a conversation with her,  I would become infuriated with jealousy and ignore him and not tell him what was wrong. I would get angry because I didn’t want him talking to another girl about problems in his life because I was supposed to be the girl that was there for him. He would get mad at me because he thought I didn’t trust him. I got angry because it wasn’t that I didn’t trust him, it was the fact that he was talking to another girl about things that are very personal to someone that wasn’t me. He was telling me these problems first, but it was the need to tell her everything that bothered me the most.

In the end, we both changed our communication to end the issue. I finally told him how I felt and why I felt the way I felt. Before I did this I warned him that I didn’t want to fight, I just wanted to talk things out. He took the time to listen, and I took the time to express how I felt. We both shared our feelings and come to the conclusion that we are together because we both love each other and we are going to have certain individuals that we conversate with and that’s okay.


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Conflict and Power; Prompt #5


I feel as if the most important currency is the personal currency. Personal currency is when you have desirable characteristics. This is really important to me because I feel like the rest of the currencies are easily attainable. However, with personal currency, I feel like it is something that is almost assigned to you with your personality, looks, beliefs. I know that I could not change my personality even if I tried. My looks could be modified slightly but for that most part this is how I look. And if I were to try to change my beliefs, I would only be lying to myself.

As far as expertise currency, no one is born with a skill. Everyone has to work and practice to make their skill plausible. So, this is reason that expertise currency wasn’t my first choice.

Something that goes decently hand in hand with the expertise currency is the resource currency. This is because if you have already taught your self enough skills, you will shortly get a decent paying job that can lead you to obtaining a substantial amount to resource currency. Another reason why resource currency is not my top choice is because at the end of the day, money is just money if you have no one to spend it with.

Lastly with social networking and intimacy currency, these also go very hand in hand. It starts with social currency which is easily obtained by being social. (Disclosure: in order to be good at socializing, you would possibly need that in your personal currency.) After you have obtained social currency, you are Able to obtain an intimate relationship. However, in order to do so, that person has to appreciate your personal currency and feel compatible with them.

In conclusion, all currency are fairly dependent on the personal currency. This is why I believe it is the most important.


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Managing Conflict and Power (Prompt #5)

The most common power currency that I possess is generally expertise currency. I remember when I was a younger student, perhaps in middle school and people would always think I was the “quiet, smart girl”. Because of this they would ask me for help on problems they could not understand. I suppose I had this power currency for schoolwork and appeared “smart” because I finished my work and turned it in, which does not necessarily make me automatically smart. The other expertise I would have is in relation to art and marketing it online. I have had people commend me or ask me for help with art in the past and presently as well.

I don’t think I have ever really had much of resource currency because my family struggled when I lived with them and we had enough but not a lot. I probably have some objects which could make it into the category for resource currency. Such as my large binder of Pokemon Cards or art supplies. Especially the art supplies I would say. I do not have a lot but when I have extra I try to give them to people who would use them more. I’m not giving up my Pokemon cards though…

I have had social-network currency and am trying to grow my network as well. Because I had a good relationship with a professor they were able to help me get an on campus job because of the work ethic I showed her. This power currency is arguably one of the most important, especially in the field I am in. Networking is the main way people in my field get their career jobs. As your career and success determines part of your happiness and future I would think that it is pretty dang important.

Other than social-network currency, intimacy currency is very important as we humans need that kind of interaction. I do not have that power currency with many people but I do have a very strong intimacy with my partner. Sharing that bond with someone that no one else shares is certainly powerful and it also feels fulfilling.

Resource currency is important because it helps get things done. I do not have a lot of this and sometimes it is hard. Such as not having enough money or food. I think this power currency is best used when people that have it help those who do not.

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Conflict & Power (Prompt #7)


What do you get when you have one overly-sensitive, stubborn younger sister and one sarcastic, older sister who doesn’t have a filter? You get two sisters who fight a lot. I admit I am not the greatest sibling, but I have realized my errors after self-reflecting. Believe me when I say I have profusely apologized, however, my (stubborn) sister will probably never fully forgive me.

My sister and I have always verbally fought with each other for as long as I can remember; we do not really get along. She even admits that we are complete opposites. We really could not be more different. Our vast differences puts us in arguments more times than I can count. In all honesty, it is both our faults. I contribute by sarcasticallly saying something she finds offensive and she contributes by shouting back with a snarky remark. These constant arguments have created a deep rift in our relationship that will take years to mend. 6 months ago, she refused to talk to me whatsoever; but after awhile she has gradually started acknowledging my existence. She felt that separating herself from me would be the best for her, so I gave her the space she needed. Now, she has gradually started talking to me again, but I still feel the lingering distance between us. I hope to repair our relationship no matter how long it takes. I make sure to be extra careful and mindful about what I say to her. Even if it is remotely sarcastic or if it can be slightly taken the wrong way I restrain myself from saying it. She still makes fun of me sometimes to see if I will take the bait, but I bite my tongue.

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Conflict and Power: Prompt 1

To a total stranger, my girlfriend and I may seem like no more than a lovey-dovey pair of people who have been in the honeymoon stage for nearly a year and a half. But the truth is, it’s not all hugs and kisses. In fact, we’ve had our share of relationship conflicts from time to time. These conflicts, however, don’t slowly erode our relationship, but rather, they give us the tools to build a strong foundation based on effective communication.

One conflict that has arose between us is my sense of humor. Unfortunately, I have this tendency to make rude, sarcastic comments in a tone that isn’t easily detectable as a joke. Everything is fine and dandy until she’s the butt of the joke, however. This sometimes leads to insecurity on her part, stubbornness on my part, and a misunderstanding between both of us. It’s here that I must exercise my conflict resolution skills to clear up confusion and make amends.

Most people get caught up in the heat of the moment and try to compete with one another using defensive communication tactics like sudden-death statements, dirty secrets, or explosive outbursts to win the argument. These tactics, however, are very destructive to all relationships, especially close ones. That’s why, when faced with conflict with my girlfriend, I don’t try to “win” the argument or attack her personally. As the book says, “attack problems, not people.”

Instead of firing off destructive messages, I analyze and approach the conflict carefully. Whether I feel she is overreacting or that she has a valid point, I try to collaborate with her, clear up miscommunication, accommodate her if necessary, and apologize for any misunderstanding. One of the most important concepts to consider, however, is to let go of your pride before addressing conflict. Even if you’re certain that the other person is in the wrong, take a second to listen to their point of view—you may even change your mind after the conflict is resolved.

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Non-Verbal Communication


I am a Registered Behavioral Technician. I work closely with children diagnosed on the Autism spectrum. My role as a therapist is to help kids with learning outside the classroom. We are responsible for teaching them basic living skills that can be seen as challenging for someone on the spectrum, as well as helping them with maladaptive behaviors. One of the things I was in charge of teaching my patient was non-verbal communication. My patient did not understand non-verbal communication or facial cues. He had a goal and specific program designed to teach him non-verbal communication and facial cues. I would exaggerate certain gestures, such as signaling him to come over and then ask him what my gestures meant. After every correct response, I would reinforce the desired response by giving him access to his favorite toy.  After a few weeks of practicing and reinforcing correct responds, he was able to understand what some non-verbal and facial cues looked like. These methods of communication were something I never really thought of, until I had to teach it to someone. I never imaged that some people are unable to understand these concepts.

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NonVerbal Communication: Prompt 3

I would not call myself a big touchy person when it comes to interacting and communicating with other people. Although, that statement slightly differs to the particular person i am interacting with. Touch comes with intention whether you are conscious of it or not. The intentions differ with the type of person or situation that is present, but the intentions are still there. Because of this, I am attentive when touching another person. I tap the person’s arm if I need to redirect focus, I high-five or fist bump a classmate or friend to make some contact with them but not too much, I hug the people who have the status in my life to warrant a hug as a casual greeting, or I hug the people in my life to show my love for them. For each type of contact, there is a reason behind why I do it. There’s not too much for people to think I’m handsy or touchy, but there’s not too little for people to think I shy away from contact. I believe it would have a lot of effect if I were to increase the amount of touching I do when interacting, because it would slightly change how people view me.

Understanding the functions of touch may help me improve my use of touch in personal and professional relationships because touch is a nonverbal communication code. Touch is just another means in which I can communicate and more communication would help better any type of relationship, so in understanding how touch can work to benefit a relationship is essential.