HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

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Romantic partner


Dating with the foreigners! who does not like this? They have different appearance, personality, culture, and language. These are enough for people to get interested, and stimulating curiosity. Since we are living in globalization, we have many opportunities to get foreigners lovers more than before. I had dated with many foreigners. Most of them came to my university in South Korea as an international student. They all had interested in my country’s cultures and language. Because they and I had in common: Social exchange theory, which is being drawn to those offering benefits with few associated costs, we were willing to know each other’s culture and language by being a couple.

Since I do not prefer introducing my girlfriend to my family, and they think that any race of people is okay as a girlfriend, having foreigner girlfriends does not matter to my family, but my friends and people in public. Whenever I go somewhere with my foreigner girlfriends in my country, some people in the stores or street stare at us, and my friends used to ask me rude questions, such as “what is the difference when you have a sex with her?” or “what is her smell like?”. My friends used to treat my foreigner girlfriends less friendly, compared with Korean girlfriends. They said that they were feeling weird and awkward, because physical attractiveness is different.

Moreover, I had language problems between me and her. this is the first and main difficulty. Conversation is the most important thing between couple to be deepen and loving more. Sometimes broken grammar or pronunciation sounds cute, but it causes misunderstanding and discord. It could happen too when they meet my friends and family. In my family case, they do not speak English at all. If girlfriend’s personality is not outgoing, they do not talk often and get weird. According to Mere exposure effect, they will be not close eventually. Matching is effective to my friends and family. Curiosity is working for a while, but it will be disappeared when it gets used to it.

Does really proximity work to me? I would say “YES” I cannot say that I have met so many foreigner girlfriends so far, but of my experience, I have interested in same ethnic and they are attracted to me more. Same language makes me feel more happy and joyful. When I introduce my girlfriend to my family or friends, they respect my girlfriends, of course, but they more prefer same ethnic to communicate and get close. Conversation, physical attractiveness, and  proximity works to them.



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Romantic Relationships

Do you agree with the statement that passion always fades in romantic relationships? Can you think of examples involving people you know who enjoy long-term relationships that seem to lack passion? Can you think of long-term couples who still seemingly have passion? Have you ever been in a relationship long enough to experience the stages that follow intense passion? Do you believe love ends when passion fades? (Based on the Self-Reflection question on p. 284.)

Passion doesn’t always necessarily fade after being in a long-term romantic relationships. Using my grandparents as an example, even though my grandfather would get annoyed at my grandmother at times, I can still see the passion in his eyes when he talks to her. Over the summer I visited them for my grandmother’s birthday. The whole family went to visit her at the old folks’ home and took her out for dinner to celebrate. At the end of the night when we sent her back to the home, the nurses asked her how was her day and what were we celebrating. She sat at the corner of her bed and had my grandfather sit next to her so she could rest her head on his shoulder and told the nurses started telling the nurses everything. I also do not believe love ends when passion fades. My parents has been married for over 20 years. Even though the passion isn’t quite as visible as before, I can tell that they still love each other. My dad isn’t one to show affection especially in public but he’d do small gestures like buying my mom a pressure cooker (for her restaurant). When I was home over the summer, my mom had started a new business that required her to work 15 hour days everyday. My dad would swing by on weekends and offer to help out so that my mom could take a break. The passion may not be as strong as it was once before, but that doesn’t mean that they love each other any less.