HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

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Big Five Personalities

Out of the five big personality traits of: extraversion, conscientiousness, openness, agreeableness, and neuroticism; conscientiousness is my most prefer personality about myself. The reasoning behind this preference is because I tend to have my work spaces extremely organized, that way I am able to accomplish my task as quickly and as accurate as possible. The other reason is that when I make plans, I will do everything in my power to make sure those plans happen. The only times plans have not been followed through is either something very important came up. By important I mean like either i got called into work, an injury/illness, or someone is in need of assistance. Either than that it’s usually the other individuals who cancel plans because they were not wanting to do them anymore, made plans with others after the fact we made them, or have forgotten all together. Which leads into how I perceive others based on the personality of conscientiousness alone.

When I see individuals that are not as well organized and thorough, I begin to make assumptions that they are not and will not put in the effort needed to complete specific task on time. But the thing that absolutely gets on my nerves is when people do not follow through on the plans they have made. For me personally, when plans are made a promise is made. A promise in which you say that you will be at a specific location and to x,y, and z. If the person is not able to do what they said they were going to do, how are am I supposed to trust them with other things. I understand if the plans were cancelled about a day or more before, or even the morning of. But when they are cancelled a few minutes or hours, and many times in my case an hour after. Then I will have guard up and see you as a person who is unable to accomplish the smallest of things. That is why for me personally conscientious is the more important personality of the big five personalities.

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Facing Obstacles

I’m mostly stereotyped by the way I dress or mostly by where I live. They tend to automatically presume that i’m dangerous and untrustworthy, I don’t know a lot of English, i’m irresponsible and the most common of all, I got no future to be enrolled in college, have a job, or be my own boss. Not only am I stereotyped by where I live and look but it’s also because of my ethnicity because I physically look more Mexican than other ethnicity that I am people tend to think my parents are immigrants, non wealthy, and lastly uneducated enough to be in someone’s statues.

Fortunately all of these stereotypes are lies, i’m very proud to say that i’m the opposite of all of these stereotypes that people have been giving me because throughout the years. Sadly people tend to judge people because of the news or articles they read online or the news report on television, that when they ask me where do I live they rapidly start to minimize the conversation or try to avoid me. It was really hard when I moved to a school that’s 30 minutes away from home to have a better education. Student will automatically try to avoid me even the counselors or parents of the school try to avoid me from trying to achieve the high level classes.    It was hard to make friends in this school because I either had to fit in one group or another or had to have a talent or hobby to join a group. At the end I learned how to make a good first impression and communications skills to use to introduce myself to new people. I would try to volunteer in orientations and open houses to welcome new freshmen  this helped me a lot by meeting new people who also needed emotional support in the area.

At the end stereotype creates obstacles for people like me to tend to achieve goals, create stronger relationships with other people, or to seek better opportunities that can benefit us. In my perspective because of the stereotype it’s just minor obstacle that we have to face anytime but it’s also great challenge because we can prove as myself that we can reach and achieve any goal we are determined to succeed.

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As a real Asian

I am a Chinese, who was born and raised in Malaysia, which is in the continent of Asia. My country has three main races: Malays, Chinese, and Indians. Malays are stereotyped as lazy but friendly, Chinese are stereotyped as liars but hardworking, Indians are stereotyped as fearsome but funny. These all started with stories.

This makes it clear that I was being stereotyped as liar but a hardworking person back in my country by other races, but the truth is I am not really hard working and I don’t really lie to people, which is totally the opposite of my general stereotype. I do not think that stereotyping is totally bad because we can still be nice to others even though we stereotyped them. That is how we live together in Malaysia. Stereotyping is a good thing for us because we know who should we ask for help during different situations. When I wanted to hang out and have fun, I would hang out with Malays. When I wanted to go somewhere that is not safe, I would go with an Indian friend. When I wanted to get a project done, I would work with Chinese.

I don’t really know how Asians are stereotyped in America, but I have watched talk shows from stand up comedians, and heard what they said about Asians. Well, it was not that bad, and some made me really proud of it! I don’t know all of the stereotypes, but I will try to list few of them. For example, some Americans think Asians are:

  1. People who can’t drive
  2. “Cheap”
  3. Hardworking
  4. Martial artists
  5. can’t speak English or maybe speak it in funny accents
  6. all of us are Chinese
  7. Mathematic geniuses
  8. strict parents

and the list goes on.

As an Asian, I don’t have strict parents, I’m bad at mathematics, I can drive and I know things about cars, I’m willing to spend than more people do, I can speak four languages including English. It is true that I’m a Chinese and a martial artist, but I was not born in that part of China where people are always fighting and flying around on the trees. Even the great martial artist Bruce Lee was born in San Francisco. I don’t know Kung Fu because I am practicing Mixed Martial Arts. They are different, just in case anyone does not know about it.

Well, stereotyping is not really a bad thing to me. I can take jokes about Asians/Chinese too, and I always find them funny, unless the person who is telling the joke is not funny at all. I don’t mind it as long as someone is not stereotyping me in a mean way. People can stereotype me however they want, I will still be nice and respect them if they are nice to me. I also think that people should always be able to take jokes about themselves, it will probably make the world a happier place. Of course, one should  not cross the line just to be cool while making jokes.