HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

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Workplace relationships

I consider almost all of my coworkers/ peers at my workplace as friends. The pizza place that I work at is a very fun and chill environment. My best friend and roommate is one of my coworkers and we also hang out with many of our coworkers outside of work. Work is a lot more fun when everyone there is your friend. It makes it much more enjoyable working with fun and positive people that you work well with as well as converse well with. I have a lot in common with a lot of my work peers. Most of us are in school or were in school not long ago. Most of us have the same interests. I see a lot of my coworkers at outside events with friends and we laugh and talk about work. It is very fun where I work and makes it very enjoyable.

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Romantic partners

I believe that romantic relationships can fade out very easily if the partners allow it to. I also believe that romantic relationships can also last if both of the partners involved are equal in the relationships and have continuous communication about everything that they feel throughout their relationship. It is very easy for partners to become unbalanced in the relationship with lack of respect in their lives, beliefs, feeling and more important aspects. Passion is something that you feel for someone that arouses you internally and in some ways externally. It can remain passionate throughout the relationship if the partners are continuously positive towards one another. An example of someone who enjoys long term relationships is someone who is generally safe in their life decisions. It is much easier for a person with these safe tendencies to not break up with their long term partner and start over on their own.  I have seen couples that are in long term and continuously passionate relationships. The passion that I see in this type of relationship only occurs in relationships that are seemingly equal. I do feel as if I have experienced passion at an intense level in a relationship and before it ended up fading the relationship couldn’t be continued from distance as well as personal differences. I do however believe that it is still possible to love someone without passion. We see examples of this in our daily lives with our families and friends. Passion, however; is a very important aspect of a healthy relationship for all romantic partners.

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Managing conflict and power

In my slightly still new relationship of three months it has been very beneficial to us to provide each other with maximum communication in all of our feelings and thoughts that may concern one another. Daniel, my boyfriend, and I have established a really strong basis of talking and expressing. A few months into our relationship we had our first fight and we decided to discuss all of our relationship and feelings in the situation we were in. In this first fight we were having we had both done things wrong towards each other and both had feelings that we wanted to express towards one another. The conflict we were in enabled us to express to each other all kinds of emotions, thoughts and feelings that we never would have been open enough to express if not in the conflict we were in. Being able to tell each other all of our thoughts and feelings in complete openness with the situation we were in made it easier for us to open up and express all kinds of things that we usually wouldn’t have discussed. This allowed us to have a much better understanding of where we were at in our relationship and how we were feeling and opened our relationship up a lot more than before. We were then able to talk about everything else more easily and openly therefore improving our relationship a lot.

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Nonverbal communication

I believe that every relationship in my life has been important in many different ways and has utilized in all sorts of nonverbal communication. One of the important relationships that I’ve developed in coming to college has been with my roommate Kathryn. We had met in our very first college class of freshman year so we were both nervous and anxious to meet new people and develop new relationships in this unfamiliar scenario. When we first met we had been sitting next to each other. We both sat down, settled in and turned to meet one another. In our first encounter we made eye contact while expressing excitement and hopes of friendship. We started off with a managed conversation with steady question asking and getting to know each other at a slow and steady rate while continuing to settle into our pre-calc class. Our social skills bounced off of one another and we began a continuous friendship basing it off of our in common classes. I feel that it is really important for relationships to start them off with a strong basis of social structure and synchronization. Kathryn is now my roommate and best friend and we love each other endlessly. We have built a very strong connection through a common relation built together in the beginning of our college experiences.


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Active Listening

Author H. Jackson Brown, Jr., once said the following: “Everyone you meet knows something you don’t know but need to know. Listen and learn from them.” This is true in more than one instance in everyone’s lives whether they know it or not. Every day we learn something new in some aspect of our lives. We may not even realize it when it is happening but we truly don’t even understand the vast amount that we still don’t know. It is important to listen to the things people have to say. Any opinion, thought, concept or idea that is not your own has the potential and most always the guarantee to broaden your intellect. In my own experience there is one specific encounter in which I learned information I was not expecting. After my first heart break when I was 17 I was absolutely devastated just like any teenage girl is after her first heart break. Everyone kept telling me the same old thing; “you’re too good for him” “you’re better off”. They were all trying to help out and I appreciated it; however, I didn’t feel those ways towards him at the time. I didn’t really know how I felt. My sister was with me throughout the entire relationship which for the last few months, was not a happy one. She watched me cry every night and continuously put myself through long distance and unhappy days and nights. After the break up she was the last person I had expected to have advice for me considering she was my little sister who had never even kissed a boy. She came and sat next to me in my sorrows and simply said: “Sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together.” This is an example of a time I was glad I had listened because it was something I needed to know at this time. I listened and I learned from someone unexpected and I am glad I did.

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Poet Henry David Thoreau once noted, “Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.” I believe that this quote is relate able to every type of aspired emotion not only including happiness but also love and tranquility. When people focus all of their attention on the fact that they are not happy and need so badly to be happy than the gravity of failure in that aspect is solely discouraging and downgrading. Happiness is only achieved through the acceptance of ones self as a whole and as a human being in everything that they are and resemble. If you cannot accept your stages of unhappiness than you will never reach a state of happiness in that we as emotionally aware human beings are in a constant cycle of emotional states. One day we are everything we want to be and achieving things we only dreamed of and the next day we could be at the lowest of the lows wishing we were a completely other person. While that might be an over exaggeration for most, it is important to know that you can’t always be your best self you can only be the person that you  perceive yourself to be from the inside out. I guess what I’m saying overall is that you have to accept and love yourself before anyone else or “the universe” can this will be the path to happiness. In that you forget your need and greed for emotional happiness and you live in the moment appreciating everything you have and are given.

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Perceiving others

When I met my little sisters first high school boyfriend I had a negative perception of him. At home, before I had met him, she had always told me things about him like he never pays attention to her in school or shows interest towards her in front of his friends and things along those lines. So naturally I had negative feelings towards him. On the first night he was going to come over to our house my dad and I were a little suspicious of how it was going to go. Would he be disrespectful and rude? Would he be nice and sweet towards my sister? She assured us that he was a nice guy and only acted the way he did because his friends made him uneasy. My dad and I continued with our suspicions though. When dinner was ready he had already been 20 minutes late and wasn’t answering my sisters phone calls. He was already off to a terrible start. Finally he showed up and greeted my dad my brother and I and we all sat down to eat. He had courteous things to say like “Thank you for having me.” and “Great house you got here” etc. but as the night went on and he continued to become more comfortable speaking his mind he began, once again, proving his immaturity. He was insulting towards my sister and and became less gracious throughout the night and went up to my little sisters bedroom right after dinner. My sister was so embarrassed and told us he was just nervous and didn’t know how to act. He left eventually and we continued the night without him. Eventually she broke up with him. His first impression ended up being his last impression in our family. Although that is not always the case, in this scenario, it was.