HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

Leave a comment

I am Just a Teenage Dirtbag

I believe that knowing the television shows that people watch, and the websites they frequently visit, you can learn very basic information about a person. In my case people would learn I have an interest in super heroes that someone my age might not typically have, and I spend way too much time watching people play the games that I spend way too much time playing. I do not believe this teaches much about a person, it gives an idea of what a person is really like.

The attachment style that most closely suits me is the dismissive attachment style. I care mostly for self reliance and depend on myself to get through most things. One example of this would be the therapy that I have turned down on numerous occasions. I struggle with depression and my psychiatrist has recommended therapy along with anti-depressants, but instead I have opted to work on my own towards feeling better and take only the anti-depressants.

One time at school I forgotten to eat lunch, and this caused me to get light headed in the middle of class. It just so happens that this class was a day where we were doing presentations, so I got up in front of class and ended up fainting in front of the entire class. I was so embarrassed when I came to in the nurses office, the only bright side was that my teacher gave me a 100% on the presentation because she felt bad. I was not really made fun of for this, but occasionally it did come up and the only thing I had to save face was to make a joke about it, and bring up how the teacher gave me an A+ on the project.

The label I would give myself is arrogant, which is weird because I struggle with depression. ย I think I am better than everybody else and nobody could even come close to my brilliance, but at the same time I hate myself. This is positive because my competitive nature forces me to try harder in school and prove that I am better than my peers, but has negativeย affects when I end up not being able to prove myself as better. This leads to a major part of my depression, where I begin to hate myself for not being better than everybody else in every single aspect of life. I know these are the issues I have, but I still cannot help myself. I see what I am doing and understand where the problem is, but my brain refuses to let me give up these thoughts.

My persona online is a little different from most people, I don’t feel like there is anything that is untrue about me, but there are things that are a little too true about me. By this I mean that I am too honest with my online personality, I talk about anything I am doing good or bad, and also just tweet anything random thought that comes into my head. This can range from “pineapples are pretty good” to “how have I not killed myself” and I think that would reflect negatively on a future employer if they decided to look up my twitter account. At the same time I am proud of myself and if a future employer finds this and refuses to hire me for these reasons, I would accept their decision and move on with my life. If somebody can not handle the extreme honesty that I have, I guess I do not not need them in my life. There is not a single thing I would change about my twitter, because it is an honest representation of myself.

I think the sharing on my end is very inconsistent, I have told people some of my strangest secrets within moments of meeting them, but also I have a tendency to not open up to a person at all, no matter how long I have known them. I do not think this has been the reason I have ruined any of my relationships, I think they have been ruined because of who I am as a person. If someone were to open up to me immediately about everything I do not think it would scare me away, but on the other hand if they never opened up to me, it is unlikely that I would notice that they are hiding anything. I feel like people can be free to open up at their own speed, whatever they feel comfortable with.