HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives


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Relationships in the Workplace

My job is detail oriented and as a result a lot of rules are enforce. I started this job at the beginning of the year and as days passed by I was more and more convinced that this was not the job for me. However, my coworkers are very supportive and it’s because of them that I still have a job. I doubted myself and they always reminded me that it takes time to learn every detail for each form basically, I learned it takes time to memorize. It was a matter of practicing everyday and trying to help students whether it would be filling out forms or requesting loans. Being that this is an on campus job they are very flexible when it comes to my work hours because they understand I am student first and then an employee. Aside from being flexible one thing that I really like about the communication at work is we collaborate and never assign blame when something goes wrong. Especially, when something goes wrong the first time. To conclude, I enjoy my workplace I feel very comfortable and safe.


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Friends

I do agree with the textbook friendship are easier to break up than family or romantic partners. First, friendships are less stable at least for me that is how they feel. Last year, I was just in high school and although I do still speak with some friends our communication is not as constant as it used to be. However, the idea of separating for a short time, but still keeping in contact was really good in that I found out who my friends truly were. Once they had freedom the freedom that they were not used to many experienced good or bad things while enjoying their freedom. I would have never joined them in some of the choices they had made. A family member is difficult to break up with well because first of all it may not have been interest what united both of us, but it’s basically our genes we know each other because we are related. If it had to do with siblings no matter how much we may not get along we always seem to work together without even realizing it or forget what we were initially complaining or fighting about. I would have to say friendship are similar to romantic relationships. The introduction is the same introducing yourself, getting to know each other and in the end enjoying spending time with each other. Of course, the only difference would be attraction which is why it’s much more difficult to break up with a romantic partner because aside from liking them as one would with friends and family members there is also attraction which prevents one from wanting to end the relationship. Friendships seem to come and go


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Relationships

Passion does fade as time goes on. Towards the beginning of a relationships both partners want to remain together all day they text, call or physically try to be with each other all day. I personally have not been in a relationship therefore, I cannot speak for myself. However, many of my friends have and i’ve experienced their behavioral change they slowly apart themselves from close friends thinking they are the only two in the planet. From what i’ve seen when family members get married and how they are now it seems that later on in the relationship they still love eachother, but do not need to express it every second they are together. For example, at parties there is no need to always be together they interact with others.

I cannot think of anyone who I may know who show passion after several years of marriage. However, love has no correlation with passion. Its a new different love to explain better it’s just like love is expressed in different parts of the world. Love is the same regardless where one is, but everyone is at different phases of love.


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Family Members

Unfortunately my family lacks in communication or I may not feel we communicate enough. I never really realized how our communication lacked until I met other students here on campus. One of my close friends expresses the relationship she has with her parents, and it is truly admirable. She video chats them every night and they always have something to talk about. When it is time to end the conversation they make sure to express how much they care and love each other before ending their call. Now, when I compare that to myself my communication is nothing near similar to theirs.

I do communicate with my mom in subtle ways everyday most of the time through text. They are currently remodeling their house and me being a big fan of Pinterest I am always sending her picture of ideas for the house. I try to call them at least once a week just to check in how they are doing or how their week was. I do think that this may be something happening more with me than my younger siblings. My sister is always hugging my parents telling them how much she loves, and as for me I dislike hugs as a result I only reciprocate a hug when someone else reaches to give me a hug. Whereas, my brother he kisses my mom and hugs my dad every morning. They may show more affection because they are younger than me, but that still does not indicate why the communication still lacks between my parents and I and how it has not changed even if I am few hours from home now.

To create a better communication I surmise that I would have to be the one to make the change. Where I express myself more and say what I feel. My parents have shown to treat me how I treat them. One option would be trying to call them at least once a day for the smallest thing maybe to wish them a good day.


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Managing Conflict and Power

I do agree with the dyadic power theory the theory that people with only moderate power are most likely to use controlling communication. Power becomes limited in a relationship an individual can no longer assume that they will get there way. As a result they feel more need to take control and influence to make themselves noticeable. People with high power feel little need to display their power that is why they do not need to display it. In an experiment it was explained that each gender had a different idea of power. For example, a male did not consider power to be correlated with behavioral dominance. Overall, I agree with the theory because for an individual to feel safe they must feel in a controlled environment where they feel comfortable somewhere where they can take control or influence.


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Eye Contact

Eye contact is important in any relationship. Nonverbal communication has to do a lot with eye contact. It is as if two individuals are able to read each other telepathically. As a child I was always taught to make contact when speaking with someone.

As a result, if I receive no verbal or nonverbal communication (eye contact)  from other individuals then I immediately think they are not interested. However, for me there is only one time where I cannot keep eye contact with someone. If I am talking to someone who I am interested in then I find it difficult to maintain eye contact. It may be because I am already nervous because I am talking to the guy I like. Or maybe because I know that if I do not focus myself then I will loose my train of thought. Usually when I am talking to the guy I like I think/ rehearse what I want to say before I actually say it to him. Which is why I cannot do both at the same time I will forget what I want to say or maybe I won’t be able to think of something to talk to about.

Although I do find it difficult to make eye contact with this particular individual I learned that because of that a different message has been transmitted. He understands that I like him, but not that I am interested in him. That is why eye contact is important in relationships because it expresses emotion and could signal the condition of a relationship.


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Name Change

I have never considered changing my legal name, but I do always fantasize of different names that I would have prefered. That is not because I do not like it, but because Jennifer is a very common name and I would like for a something that is less common. Regarding, marriage I would not change my last name if I were to get married. First, I have both my parent’s last name indicating that they are the one’s who have helped me and our giving me life or the ones who are making me happy. That is my way of thinking of last names. If I were to get married I would hyphenate my name to his, but I would not completely erase mine. I would add my husband’s last names indicating how important he is to my life and how he makes me happy.

My way of thinking is that one wants to continue adding to their character and building who they want to be and I feel that it’s more important to add my spouse’s name with mine rather than just his. For me, when it comes to referring to other people and wondering whether to put Ms or Mrs or anything to that sort becomes complicated and it is  because everyone has chosen for themselves how they would like to be called. However, if it were to be for me I would not mind how they would state my name whether I would be married or not because my last name should have nothing to do with others think, but something more for myself. As I have mentioned before, last names mean something more important to me.