HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

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Romantic Partners Prompt 1

I do not believe that a relationship ends when passion goes away since you can definitely still love someone even with a lack of passion. Like loving a person just for who they are. Like a very calm relationship. Relationships that lack passion is like those lazy relationships when both partners are quite boring people and do not really care. These people seem to just have each other and do not find passion just probably because they both have an understanding that both will not leave the other. I am only guessing that is how passionless relationships work, both partners too lazy to find anymore, they would settle. Long term couples that still have passion create new ideas in the relationship. They add more challenges or fun, they can plan new trips to take or even maybe get a dog together. (or a child) Long term passionate relationships takes work and effort and I believe it is important to at least try a little. Love probably will not end when passion fades but can maybe change. Lazy relationships with people who settle and accommodate may stay but people who need change and effort, passion fading will end the relationship. I guess it depends all on the type of person you are.

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Managing Conflict and Power Prompt 7

One of my cousins and I have a repeated conflict. Although it does not happen as often as it used to it will come up once in a while. We both grew up very close but always compared to each other so it made us very competitive towards each other. This always ends up in us trying to compete in everything. It comes from grades to just life in general. We can argue about the smallest things like who knows the right facts about some dog breed. It breaks our relationships sometimes but we usually make up the next time we see each other but it will make us ignore each other for the rest of the day. I contribute since it seems like just our thing always being competitive with each other. I am a very competitive person so it just comes to me to fight over the little things with us. There are days where I just do not want to fight so I just let her way or I go “no no no this is not gonna happen again, we’re done good bye”. We can try to collaborate with each other in order to break this habit of arguing with each other. This pattern can definitely change if both of us notice it when it is happening and we can always talk it out and have a conversation about the arguing we do. (We both very much love each other so no need to worry here).

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NonVerbal Communication Prompt 1

An example of the relationships in my life will be my best friends in this context. I believe eye contact is important to us only when we are having serious conversations or having conversations we are very in tune to like when we are eating dinner and sitting across the table from one another. When we are talking to each other we are usually on the move, in the car, or maybe watching TV so no eye contact can be made. When eye contact is possible it is usually there. Usually when something is wrong or we are trying to avoid a conversation that is when we break eye contact and try to avoid the other person. Our relationships are normally fine without eye contact it is only when there is a serious conversation and we want to avoid talking. We usually understand each other pretty well since we are all in tune with each other (which is a blessing since we can understand when we want to avoid something). The conversations we have can be held without holding eye contact, it is kind of like multitasking? Overall, eye contact can be present or not, our relationship will most likely stay the same.

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Verbal Communication Prompt 1

If you asked me in the past if I would consider changing my legal name I would probably say, “for sure”. My full name is Jasmine Bao Yang. Bao can mean different things in both Vietnamese and Chinese but both having a pretty good meaning “gift and treasure” but it can also mean other things with different accent marks (but thank god for not having those accent marks, my middle name could have meant news paper or bread bun). Growing up I never liked my middle name because it doesn’t make any sense in english, I wanted an American middle name that everyone can pronounce and not ask about. It was so annoying to me when people asked me what my middle name was and struggled pronouncing it or made fun of it. If you ask me now though if I wanted to change my legal name, I would say no. It is a part of me and telling people it means “gift and treasure” is pretty cool. I grew up with the name and having a little culture in my name is really cool and I love taking pride in my Asian culture. If I got married I would much rather keep my last name as a part of me. I can hyphen my name with me and my spouse like “yang-(their last name)”. Currently, my last name in my family will not be carried on seeing that all my cousins are girls and the only guy cousin from my dad’s side is from my aunt which isn’t useful on carrying on the last name. I would much rather keep the last name going or have it die with me at least (harsh but the truth I guess). I even sometimes think about having my mom’s last name for myself since I really want both my parents in my name but that may be a different topic. I like to think that my name is such a big part of me, it makes me remember where I come from and I love embracing the culture I grew up with.

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Active Listening Prompt 3

I can be insufficient to listening when the conversation can be quite “dry”. When the person I am talking to does not quite engage me into the conversation. This can also happen when I just cannot focus on this person’s story. There are times where I am in conversations and just dose off and think about something else and pop in once in a while to get to understand at least a small section of what they are saying. This sounds terrible but it happens sometimes and I can’t help it. I do the insufficient listening replies like “that’s crazy” and “oh wow”, but sometimes I’m actually listening but I can’t appropriately reply. I can probably change this by applying myself into the conversation, not like narcissistic listening but try my best to engage myself. I should actually try harder with this because my “huh” replies are getting old to my roommates when I talk to them.

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Emotions Prompt 4

Although I do not use as much emoticons (as I did in high school) I do use a good amount. I like to use things like hearts and smiley faces. I like to see these emoticons as effort into texting or messaging. I never usually use them in emails because email is usually for formal messages. Texting on the other hand is different. When I use emoticons I explain it as putting effort and not having a text message “dry”. If these were taken out I think that people would think I am lacking effort but that is only my thought. For the most part I usually write to people pretty formally the emoticons is just to show some emotions and put in effort. I really like to put in the effort even sometimes by using the new dumb emojis. It is sometimes a joke but I can also use it as a real emotion. The emoticons are usually for positive use, never really negative.

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Perceiving Others Prompt 2

I am most likely stereotyped by my race. People seem to have the idea that Asians are REALLY good at math and are straight A students. People also say that Asians are very rich yet also very cheap. In reality though, I am terrible in math and not rich at all. I am however quite cheap, I try my best to save my money. People also think Asians eat really weird foods and animals but all races have their own culture and foods. Stereotyping can affect a whole community, it can make people think a certain group is a certain way, when in reality it could be the total opposite. I believe stereotyping can be a pain, either trying to fight with it or keep up with it. Like when parents expect you to be as smart as your other friends and family you try your best to keep up with it or when you get judged by the food you eat but you do not care for others opinions so you fight it. Stereotyping puts people in boxes, it does not let people explore and venture off into what they want to do.

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Self Concept Prompt 1

I watch many different television shows, having a Netflix and all so it is not a surprise that I can get some of my personality from the shows I watch. I watch many shows from The Office, Parks and Recreation, That 70’s Show, Portlandia, Friends, and so much more. I normally watch the comedic type of shows as listed, but on occasion I will watch things like Law and Order SVU, Criminal Minds, How to Get Away with Murder, The Fosters, but just for the drama. I believe these shows can reflect on who I am. The comedic shows I listed first is shows I go back to, to watch again and again. People normally see me as the more positive type of person but also tend to be awkward and closed off like many of the characters in the shows. I can place myself as a character in many of the shows I watch. I watch the more dramatic shows when I need a boost of it, although not often I do go back to it.

I don’t tend to go onto many websites unless you include iLearn as one but if you count it, I definitely go on many different types of media apps on my phone. Such as Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, and Messenger (Facebook’s messaging app). I do believe these types of media can influence how we see ourselves since we can compare ourselves to anyone else on media. It can be good or bad depending on how you view  it. You can find people going through odd diets and question if you should go on it too, but also see that it can be super ridiculous by the way the person views it. Although sometimes bad influence, media can still be positive to reach out for movements like #metoo, daca, and black lives matter. It can make a person more active in their community and see themselves in a more positive light.

My genre in music is not too specific, I am not very particular with music. I like to explore new music but at the same time stick with what I know. So I guess this can reflect on me by showing that I am more of an adventurous but still like to have what is familiar with me.