HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

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I don’t fully agree with the statement that friendships are less stable and more likely to change. I think it depends on the friendship because sometimes friends become family. I know when it comes to friendships I’m really particular about who I call my friends and people who are just acquaintance because sometimes I trust and tell my friends more things than what I tell my family. Friends are way easier to tell anything to first because to me friends are able to handle things better sometimes then family.

But I also can see how this statement could be true. For example I had a really close group of friends and felt like we were family. However, we had this big issue and I decided I didn’t want to be friends with them anymore and at first i thought it would be hard with not being friends with these people but it was super easy and I didn’t really even think about the very much now. So I guess friendships can be easy things to let go but I really think it depends on the people.

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Forever in Love

No I do not agree with the statement that passion fades away in romantic relationships because I know a couple who have been together for a really long time and you can obviously tell that their still in love with each other after all of this time. Their like my Grandparents and they have been together since they were in their twenties. Even though they’ve fought over the years they have always made up no matter what. They both try their very best in the relationship and do nice, little things for each other all the time. Its the cutest thing ever and their totally relationship goals. Its really nice to see relationships still like this because nowadays relationships are literally sometimes the hardest thing ever and i see so many people breaking up all the time over stupid things. No one ever wants to try and fix things they just blame each other for what is going on. It is  really inspiring to see people like them; who even though have gone through the many rough patches work through them all the time.

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A tradition or communication practice that my family/ culture does is that we call everyone we know Aunt, Uncle, Brother, Sister, Grandpa, or Grandma. In Singapore its really common to call people like this even if we just meet them. Its how we greet anyone because its shows signs of respect and if you don’t call them by these familiar nouns it’s seen rude. For example when you get into a taxi you would call the taxi driver uncle: “Uncle can you please take me to Toa Payoh lor 7.” Also like when my mom would introduce me to her friends she would say, “Desiree this is uncle Rishma or ect” even though that would be the first time I met him and I’m not even related to him in anyway.

Also because my family has a lot of Chinese members in our family we use a lot of Chinese dialect in how we talk to each other. Like because I’m older than all of my cousins they refer to me as Jiejie which just means older sister but we call everyone who is older than us that. Which I actually don’t like because it doesn’t feel special sometimes because we call everyone that but my family still calls me that.

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Sometimes text isn’t the best way

I’ve always been a person who is upfront with others when there was some type of conflict between us. I don’t like it when people try to ignore or avoid the situation just because they don’t want to have it. Whenever you might have a problem with someone I believe its important to figure out what went wrong and talk about it because if you don’t whenever you see that person you will be upset with them. With that being said I’ve had a situation that was like this that I could have handled better.

My really close friend, that I have known for like 6 years now, and I had this really petty argument about something one day and usually if we do fight we never have to talk about it we just come to a mutual understanding about it but this time was different. I had heard from another friend that she had been really upset with me this time and I wanted to be the bigger person and apologize first so instead of calling her to talk about it I texted her. Now this is where I totally messed up I’ve learned you should never text people when your having some type of argument because text does not always express how you really feel about something. Moral of the story she got angrier because of the text and then we got into a bigger fight about things which was really sad because she is like one of my best friends. However, the next day was school and I went up to her because I just felt really bad and explained that I was really sorry and like we shouldn’t be fighting over something dumb and then we were fine. But because of this whenever I am having any type of conflict with anyone I know I always either talk to them in person or like call them because why make a small issue into a bigger one.

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I’ve never really been a very touchy person meaning I don’t really care for others touching me and I don’t really care touch other people. Its always really funny because whenever people hug me they always get upset when I don’t hug them back but I can’t help it I’ve always been like that. Even with really close friends and immediate family I am not very touchy with them. My family isn’t really the type of people do be affectionate in that way either so its probably comes from them. We never hugged or did things like that just when we see each other; its like a mutual understanding about it and I never took it personal that my family wasn’t affectionate in that way.

I do think if I increased the amount of touch with others it would benefit my very much. I am affectionate in other ways and people who are close to me know that and I think they would be weirded out if I started touching them all of a sudden. They would be concerned if something was wrong with me and ask me why I’m being like this all of a sudden. I understand that the functions of touch in personal and professional areas are important to know and I think that its important to know about these different touch functions because of the different experiences you go though in your life concerning touch.

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The Importance of Native Tongue

My first language is English but my mother also talked to me in her Native tongue which was Tamil and Malay which is . Living in the States English is important to communicate easier with others here. Most people in the states speak English and if you do not it can be hard at times. It also can be seen as a universal Language; meaning if you go somewhere else in the world there is a good chance that you will be able to communicate with them because nowadays schools around the world require students to learn another language and usually the language is English. Also many students in other Countries once they finish Secondary school they want to go to University here in the States which if they want to be able to communicate easily with people in the States and understand whats going on around them.

So the language I speak distance me from others because even though around the world people are learning English not everyone is and communicating with others becomes very difficult. For example when I go to China to visit my family my cousin has to be with me when we go out so that she can translate or like when we go to et she has to order for me. I also think with not speaking other languages it stops you from be able to really understand another groups culture or traditions. I think its important to be knowledgable about others around you.

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Need to Know

Its important for people, I think, to be knowledgeable about the things around you. I think you can learn something from everyone you meet whether it can help you or not its important to know certain stuff and be educated in some type of way about all topics in life. Events that has made this very true is news about things that go one around me and the world. I’m not very good at keeping up with important events or news that goes on in the world and if I do learn something I do not fully know the whole problem and sometimes get the information wrong and explain it wrong to other people. However, My aunt thats not from here but China has been really good at informing me of things.

My aunt has always been really into the news and when I would talk to her or see her she always had something to say about what was going on in the world. But when the election started happening my aunt started talking to me about it and at first I kind of ignored her because I thought I would know better because obvious I was the one living in the States not her. But after awhile I started looking at the information or things that she would send me and it helped me better educate myself about the going ons of the election because I didn’t really pay attention to all the points made during the election. I was really thankful for her sharing her knowledge of these things to me.