HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives


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Friends Prompt #8

 

Having a “friends with benefits” relationship can be very tricky for multiple reasons. These types of relationships usually end in disappointment and no one is left with anything. Sure they can be fun for a while but they are neither beneficial or helpful in creating an actual relationship with that person since they more than likely end negatively.

No matter how much you say it is strictly just a ‘friendship’ and nothing else, one person always ends up developing feelings for the other person. Its really difficult maintaining a “friends with benefits” relationship because becoming so intimate with a person is something that humans can easily do whilst NOT developing an emotional attachment. Its hard to keep emotions out of these kinds of relationships due to the fact that you are sharing something so personal with someone else.

Having a relationship like this can also ruin your friendship. Since it’s just a friend with benefits, it eventually ends and then there’s that awkward time where you’re not really friends with the other person but your also not enemies either. There’s no future with that person in the relationship usually so it either dies off and becomes an awkward acquaintance sort of friendship.

My advice is don’t do, and if you are, don’t have any feelings for the other person and don’t plan on developing any feelings for them.

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Romantic Partners Prompt #8

 

I would never terminate a relationship using the phone because I feel thats very impersonal and kind of mean. The advantages of breaking up in person are you can properly read the other persons emotions since it is face to face. It also shows that you care enough about the person and are actually willing to speak to them in person about the difficulties you two have that have caused you to decide to terminate the relationship. The disadvantages of breaking up in person are it is a lot more nerve racking and sometimes you don’t fully get to say how you feel or what is bothering you because you are scared and it is intimidating. The disadvantages of breaking up with a person over text are that it is low and childish. The advantages of breaking up with someone over text are that it is very easy to communicate exactly how you feel and take your time to respond. You can carefully type out exactly what you want to say and how you want to say it. It is also a lot less scary and intimidating because you are behind a screen.


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NonVerbal Communication Prompt #1

 

An important relationship that I have in my life is with my twin best friends. This relationship is one that has been going on for almost 8 years and it is stronger than any other friendship/relationship that I have with anyone else. Eye contact is very important because it means we are comfortable enough with each other to where we can keep steady eye contact during a conversation and properly convey to each other what we are trying to say. Keeping a steady eye contact with the person you are speaking with also ensures they are listening to what you have to say and it makes you feel better that they are grasping what you have to say.

Expressing emotion is something really crucial in any relationship. We should express emotion while we speak so the listener can grasp the meaning of what we are trying to convey through the tone of our voice. We should also express our emotions as in telling the other person how we feel. This is important because this type of communication is important in maintaining and achieving a healthy relationship. Speaking up when something is making you feel a certain way may be difficult but it will make the relationship stronger.

Managing conversation for us is probably the easiest thing possible. We are so close with one another and we always have something to say. It is never quiet when the three of us are together. Signaling the condition of a relationship means that there should be a general idea of how the relationship is between you and the other person/people. You both or however many people there should be able to tell whether the relationship has healthy aspects to it or if it needs improvement in certain ways such as eye contact or expressing emotion.

 


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Verbal Communcation Prompt #6

 

According to Ludwig Wittgenstein’s, we would perceive the world differently if we spoke another language. I believe the what Ludwig is trying to say is that surrounding language is culture. The two go hand in hand and when you have one, you automatically have the other. When you speak a language, there is a specific culture surrounding that language and I think that is what shapes our view of the world.

Each person already views the world differently based on their own personal experiences and beliefs, but language and culture also mold our views of the world and the people we are surrounded by. I do not believe that I see the world the same as someone who does not speak English; because they were probably brought up differently, had different traditions or routines they did, and possibly even grew up somewhere other than the U.S.

An example that I believe supports this quote is that someone in Asia, lets say China, perceives the world differently than I would as an English speaking American. The way they were brought up may have been different than I was. They might think some of the things I do aren’t socially appropriate or they are our of the norm of what they’re used to. They have different values and beliefs because they were raised differently in a different area and with a different language and culture that shaped their view of the world.


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Actively Listening Prompt #1

 

A recent situation in which my listening suffered was when my friend was constantly calling me for a week straight complaining about a problem she was having with a guy at school. There was always new drama in each phone call we had and it was starting to get annoying and even boring.

I felt bad because I knew the situation was difficult for her but it was extremely hard to stay engaged when she was complaining about the same thing everyday. My feedback became worse and worse and I started to become a pseudo-listener every time we talked. I was barely listening to what she would say and my responses were usually something like “Oh wow.”,”That sucks.”, or “That’s crazy.”

Regarding the 5 steps of active listening, I started to falter at step 2. Receiving is the first step and I of course was listening, the sound would travel through my ears. Step 2 is attending and that’s where the root of the problem that affected my listening. I would usually multitask and be on my phone scrolling through social media while we talked so I was less attentive to what she was saying. The 3rd step is understanding and I was pretty good at interpreting what feelings she felt during the situation. I usually felt like I would interpret the situation differently than she had in the moment.  The 4th and 5th step of listening is responding and recalling and that was where I really seemed to fail as a listener. I would give very short and uninterested feedback. Recalling was usually quite difficult for me because I was barely listening.

I understand all of the things I did in this situation are very bad active listening but it was really difficult for me to take on all of her problems while she vented for hours a day to me about the same topic. I am now able to identify where I have failed as a listener and I can change in the future.


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Emotions Prompt #2

When Henry David Thoreau stated this quote, “Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.”, I think he meant that you can not live your life chasing the concept of happiness. If you look for happiness, it will not come to you, it is when you start enjoying life as it comes and finding the beauty and joy in the small things, then the happiness will follow naturally. Many people search for happiness in clothes, material items, and “things”. It is only once you start finding happiness in yourself, others, and places that you will become truly happy.

True happiness does not come from actual things. It comes from experiences, people, memories, and places. As Henry David Thoreau said in his quote, happiness will come to you if you focus your attention on other things. What he means by these other things is that if you stop searching for happiness and focus on things like self care, relationships, and experiences, then the happiness will follow. Once this happens, and all of a sudden you sit and think to yourself how happy you are and how it came out of what seemed like no where. Being happy is not an emotion that can be bought or forced. It is an emotion that is a product of your mindset. Happiness comes from within and then is projected outward, not the other way around.


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Perceiving Others Prompt #2

I am most stereotyped as a “typical white privileged Catholic girl” because I went to an all girls private Catholic school. When I transferred from my average public school filled with people of many different backgrounds, religions, and socioeconomic status to an all girls, wealthy, Catholic, mostly white school it kind of made people look at me bad. I drove a Honda Civic and most of these girls at my new school drove BMW’s or Mercedes so I kind of was out of place.

Even though I didn’t care about designer clothes, or money, or getting my nails done weekly like the other girls at my new school did, the people from my hometown looked at me like I was some spoiled rich girl who wears a uniform and gets a ton of money from my parents. In fact none of that was true at all. I actually had a job and payed for all of my own things and had to do a lot do most things on my own without the help of my parents. Going to a private school was very expensive an dry parents were constantly working hard to be able to afford it which I was extremely grateful for.

The stereotypical white rich girl was always sort of mean and I hated that stereotype because I am not mean in the least. Of course there were those types of girls at my new school and they gave a bad reputation for the other girls at school like me. The role of stereotyping in our society is really bad because it usually causes people to negatively judge a person based off some sort of characteristic or environmental factor. When people stereotype others, it gives a bad idea of the person you are judging in your head. We shouldn’t judge someone before we get to know them because most of the time, stereotypes aren’t even true.