HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

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The Importance of Expressions

The most important relationship that I have is my family, I communicate with them twice a day. Nonverbal Communication is as well important as verbal communication. The reason why nonverbal is important is because we can determine the person’s mood as well how we are going to respond and act. On verbal expressions are crucial when communicating it helps me understand what the person is feeling or expressing just by their tone of voice or their body movements.

If we didn’t have these nonverbal techniques to help in our daily communication, we would have difficulties and misunderstandings. As for example, my sisters has a monotone serious voice and if she didn’t demonstrate any nonverbal communication as hand gestures or facial expressions, I would think the whole time she was bored or annoyed. Another example is my father his voice and communications is the opposite he’s always laughing or being sarcastic, and if wasn’t for his tone of voice I would think he would never take anything seriously. Another thing that is important is the eye contact as well, the eye contact is very crucial when having a conversation, it can determine if you are demonstrating attention towards them or lack of enthusiasm in the conversation. The eye contact creates the speaker to feel that they are being listened and having the attention of the listener. At the end of my experience having people or my family demonstrate and use nonverbal techniques gives me the acknowledgment that they are listening to me and feel related or compassioned of what I’m speaking about.

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The Art of Langauge

My native tongue that I was raised from the beginning is Spanish but only the basic. My family wanted to make sure I was going to learn all my family’s languages so I could communicate with my relatives without any challenges. As I grew I started leaning South American and Mexican Spanish with a little of Vietnamese. These languages have helped communicate and learn about my culture and their traditions when I spend limited time with them. It’s a really beneficial tool because you can easily learn and communicate without worrying you will be misunderstood or confused about what I’m trying to state.

Not only has language has helped communicate with my family it has also helped communicate with people from society as well. An example would be when I decide to go to a new area or city to explore, the first thing I would do is I would communicate with people or friends if what are there experiences `they had and what would they recommend about the place. This helps me because I can organize and plan where, what, and when I should go so it can be an amazing first experience of the place. Not only do I use communication to explore but also to learn knowledge that I may be struggling with as an example if I know I struggle in a certain subject in one my classes instead going to CLC or asking a friend I would talk to my professor or a person I know that attends the same class. The language is an important tool it helps you learn, share, and connect with others by building a strong relationship as intimate or best friends.

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Listening vs Critism



The person I consider an effective listener would be a friend back at San Diego. The many reasons why I can always count on her to listen than other close friends is because she demonstrates nonverbal gestures as nodding her head, good eye contact, and positive and supportive feedback. The reasons why her supportive feedback and backchannel cues as nodding, is the best quality for an effective listener is because her feedback does not contain judgment, criticism, or a quick way to solve the problem or the situation. In my point of view when I talk to others, they automatically want to give feedback in how to solve or open a new topic or experience they similar had to mine. Listening is about demonstrating you are analyzing their information and give your total attention to the speaker without any distractions or demonstration of noncaring of the conversation. What I really appreciate about my friend listening skill is that if I’m speaking and she interrupts me, at least she will ask questions for clarification or to have more details about the topic, which it demonstrates that she is listening and having her total focus on me.

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Emoticons in Communication

In general, I never use emoticons in an e-mail in order to remain and have a professional image about myself, on the other hand, I did use them frequently in online communication and texting. The many reasons why I use emoticons as my tool in my written communications is because it can clarify my intentions and my emotions in the writing.

As an example, in texting, I would use emoji’s at the end of each sentence or paragraph to interpret my tone of voice to make sure the reader does not interpret a different meaning or tone of voice. For example, if I make an inside joke or a compliment instead sending the text without the proper emoji as the laughing or smiley face, the person can presume that I might be insulting or mocking her. Without using an emoji as a representative of our face or intentions, people can misinterpret things which can cause harm, confusion, or difficulties in the relationship.

In my everyday online communication as facebook, messenger, or other media, it consists of the same concept and using of the emoji. I must use them in order to explain my thoughts and purpose of the message. Using emoticons in online communication and texting is important because we can express what we feel and what mood we are in the moment without making our reader confused or misinterpret our messages or ideas. We can use this tool to express our emotions without using our physical traits to express our thoughts and ideas without being in front of them to able to understand. Its a tool for us to able to communicate clearly and open to others in society.

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Facing Obstacles

I’m mostly stereotyped by the way I dress or mostly by where I live. They tend to automatically presume that i’m dangerous and untrustworthy, I don’t know a lot of English, i’m irresponsible and the most common of all, I got no future to be enrolled in college, have a job, or be my own boss. Not only am I stereotyped by where I live and look but it’s also because of my ethnicity because I physically look more Mexican than other ethnicity that I am people tend to think my parents are immigrants, non wealthy, and lastly uneducated enough to be in someone’s statues.

Fortunately all of these stereotypes are lies, i’m very proud to say that i’m the opposite of all of these stereotypes that people have been giving me because throughout the years. Sadly people tend to judge people because of the news or articles they read online or the news report on television, that when they ask me where do I live they rapidly start to minimize the conversation or try to avoid me. It was really hard when I moved to a school that’s 30 minutes away from home to have a better education. Student will automatically try to avoid me even the counselors or parents of the school try to avoid me from trying to achieve the high level classes.    It was hard to make friends in this school because I either had to fit in one group or another or had to have a talent or hobby to join a group. At the end I learned how to make a good first impression and communications skills to use to introduce myself to new people. I would try to volunteer in orientations and open houses to welcome new freshmen  this helped me a lot by meeting new people who also needed emotional support in the area.

At the end stereotype creates obstacles for people like me to tend to achieve goals, create stronger relationships with other people, or to seek better opportunities that can benefit us. In my perspective because of the stereotype it’s just minor obstacle that we have to face anytime but it’s also great challenge because we can prove as myself that we can reach and achieve any goal we are determined to succeed.

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Never a Social Expectation

I have had many labels throughout my childhood some were negative as stereotype threats, but some were positive as hard worker or passionate, but there was one label that did affect me very young they would call me an unrealistic dreamer.

At first I, couldn’t understand why my classmates or friends wouldn’t join or support my actions or ideas as taking risk in having adventures or creating new experiences. For sure most of the time risks were involved in the situation, but it wasn’t something dangerous or impossible to achieve. I thought for some time that my wild spirit of exploration and learning new knowledge was the cause of it, at the end it was.

The reason why people in society labeled me as a unrealistic dreamer was because I was a female, I come from a minority group, and I belonged in the lower class of the society standards. Coming from the origins of Latin America and European made society and my community to judge and have fewer expectations for me in my education or my dream of pursuing a higher education for myself and my community. The second it was because I was a woman, I always volunteered and got internship opportunities around the city to work in courts, translation, hospitals or community events this helped me to become a leader and take charge of many clubs and events. The problem as that if I wanted to represent or to take charge many would say I couldn’t handle the job or take charge of a project because I didn’t have the “traits” or “qualifications” like men to take the responsibilities to take charge. The final one is being part of the minority group. Being part of a minority groups means having to deal with stereotype threats every day in society, and sadly many start believing it.

Overall from these experiences what really made the label “unrealistic dreamer” was that for me it translated to UNIQE. It explained everything I wasn’t a social outcast I was just unique and different than the rest of society. That motivated me every day to always try something new and to never stop being a dreamer and a risk taker to help, inspire, and motivate others to believe in themselves and persue their own dreams and goals.