HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

Romantic Partners (Prompt 5)

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Most of my high school career I dated outside of my ethnic group and dated a caucasian female. I myself am I dark skinned Indian man so as you can see we pretty different. My family, well my parents are very traditional Punjabi so there mindset for their children is to arrange their marriages when the time comes, so having a girlfriend was a no go. My sisters and I were always taught to put education as our priority and not to worry about girls or boys. We did put education as our primary focus but being americanized we didn’t see the harm of trying new relationships at school. When I was talking to my soon to be girlfriend at the time I let her know a few things up front, that she would probably never meet my parents unless it sprouted into something outside of college and that she probably wouldn’t meet to much of my family. The reason I told her these things were to protect our relationship and to minimize problems down the road because I already laid the law. Dating her was an interesting experience because I dated her for two years, for the most part it was a nice friendly and “loving” relationship but going out in public and when topics about family came up it got awkward. Even though I had told her from the beginning that my parents aren’t going to know because they won’t approve she still wanted to push me into telling them about her even though I didn’t want to. This is probably what caused the biggest stress on our relationship. I also couldn’t bring her around many family members either because they most likely wouldn’t have approved either or they may have told my parents which was a complete NO GO. If we were more mature or if my parents were more understanding of the relationship things may have worked out better but because of all the differences and clashing cultures I had to terminate the relationship and move on.

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