HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

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Family Members Prompt #2

If I were to really think about it, I believe that I am closer to my friends rather than my family. Now before you think that I have anything against my family, I don’t. It’s just that the way I was razed was that we aren’t necessarily the most emotional family or maybe always doing family stuff,  because both of my parents work at different times so it is hard to do family stuff together. But anyways, there are certain things that I wouldn’t tell a family member that I wouldn’t mind telling a friend and vice versa. If I were to tell them that I did something that I am not supposed to do then they would not be happy, but obviously friends aren’t really going to care about that. The reason that I feel that I am closer to my friends than my family (granted my immediate family I would say I am close with such as my parents and brothers and sisters, but aunts, uncles, and cousins not so much), is that you choose you friends but family is family. No matter who they are you were born and raised with them. That and friends usually you share a lot of common interests with but with family that is not necessarily true. As for balancing different feelings for different family members, I suppose I am a lot quieter and less talkative with some of my cousins because we really don’t have anything in common. If I was hanging out with one of my brothers or my sister, I am more talkative and not so quiet because we actually have things in common. And if it were a family member that I didn’t get along with then I would probably just hold that emotion inside and act respectfully because that is just the way I was razed.

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Friends Prompt #2

The book states that friendships are less stable, more likely to change, and easier to break off than a family or romantic relationship. Some of these points I would agree with such as it being easier to break off, but it really depends on how deep the friendship goes. With a general friend that you aren’t really super close with then I would agree with that. However, if it is a best friend or even just a close friend it may be quite difficult to break off that friendship. Granted, you could just stop talking or communicating with the person but that still may not be very easy because the friend could be trying to reach out to you still. Also, you may feel very hurt on the inside from the breaking off of the friendship, so even though it may be easy to perform the action it will not be so easy in terms of emotional damage or impact. Stability wise, I think friendships are much more stable than a romantic relationship, because something that a friend could do to you could be a lot less damaging than say a romantic partner or a family member. Unless they were a best friend than maybe it could less stable depending on what they did. As for more likely to change, well I am honestly not too sure on that. I feel that my friendships have generally been the same, but my romantic relationships have changed over the course of the relationship. Though if I were to consider that my friends now are different than the friends that I had before then in that situation my friendship would have changed but if we are talking about the same friends than no they have stayed the same for the most part. Family relationships have also not really changed either, except maybe be treated more like an adult rather than a kid but that is more of an age thing really.

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Romantic Partners: Prompt #8

Without a doubt, different technology methods of communication have impacted our lives in how we communicate with others on a daily basis, whether we are communicating with family, friends, and/co-workers. Particularly, text messages, emails, and social media platforms are the most effective methods of technology communications that enables to communicate with another party in practical way; and we tend to have less in-person communication with others. In my daily routine, I find myself using more methods of communications at all times in comparison to face-to-face conversations. However, when it comes to romantic relationships, I do put limits of when I should or shouldn’t use technology communications vs. face-to-face communication. From my experience, when I initiate a romantic relationship, I do utilize text messages to invite someone I like, but when the relationship is going more serious I do consider a face-to-face communication to be more effective. This is because it demonstrates to the other person that you are putting aside sometime of your busy schedule to spend time with your loved one and it definitely shows the other party your interest in the relationship. I tend to avoid posting personal thoughts and personal moments on social media since there’s always drama due to others perspectives which may hurt my relationship. I personally think that although now days we have great technology methods of communication that have made our lives much easier as we practically have control on our communication with others instantly with the use of our cellphones as compared to old days, but I think that all these great technology devices will never equal the same value to a conversation in a face-to-face communication way. This is because the direct contact communication enables to get a sense of facial and body expressions which through technology means this opportunity can be missed. Regardless of the type of conversations you have with others, I think that the face-to-face approach has more meaning in value in a romantic relationship, even for tough moments in the relationship. I personally, would never terminate a relationship using communication technology, even if I didn’t have no more interest in the relationship. This is because using a technology devise vs. a direct contact would demonstrate the other party that I didn’t had the courage to have a face-to-face conversation in expressing why I am making the decision to terminate a relationship.

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Workplace Relationships #5

Since the one job I’ve had so far was a summer job, last summer, I didn’t have the opportunity to establish “solid” friendships. Therefore I don’t consider any of them friends. I did, however, become close with one of my co-workers who would give me rides back to the office as our job was in the park. I feel that because of the fact that she would give me rides back to the office were we would drop off the materials we used in the park, we were able to talk about nonwork related stuff which aided in being acquaintances. She was really nice, interested in knowing more about me and my academic career, and respectful so of my four coworkers, I had the closest relatioship with her. For the first 4 weeks of my job, that coworker was also the person I would contact if I had questions or concerns and she would inform our boss. But, after those first four weeks there were changes in the organization and she became my boss. Since we had gotten to know each other the transition of her becoming my boss and me having to now let her know about my hours and stuff like that was smooth. I felt comfortable around her and didn’t have to reestablish a working relationship we alreay had.

With my other coworkers, we were simply information peers as our converstations never went beyond work: time sheets, what days we worked, how many kids were expected, or the materials needed for that day.  Although they weren’t my friends, that didn’t mean I hated them or that I didn’t feel comfortable with them. Our work relationship was great and supportive but it just didn’t transfer outside of work.

I think the major thing that prevented our relationships from becoming “deeper” was the fact that I was only there for the summer, which was around two months. Everyone else had been working with each for a long time and year round. Nonetheless, I really enjoyed working with them and that organization. They were all very welcoming and willing to help me grow and learn. Because of that experience, I will be working with them again this summer and I’m really looking forward to it.


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Workplace Relationships Prompt #4

In my workplace I would describe the climate to be both supportive and defensive. In my work, I believe that there is around five to six assistance managers and of course the main manager. I say that it is a little of both because it just depends on the manager that is working. For example, our main manager is the most supported manager in the store. She understands that a lot of us are going to college and are very busy with our school work. For example, if you have important homework to do or have to study for exam coming up you can just tell her and she would not even get mad about you not being able to go work. Basically if it is anything school related you can call into work to inform her you can’t  show up and she won’t even get mad. Also even though she is the boss of the store she respects all of the workers. On the other hand, sometimes you get to work with an assistant manager in which the environment would a defensive climate. He is very controlive of everything and can be abusive of his power. Honestly you can’t even have a small conversation with anyone because you’ll get in trouble. I feel that for some reason he needs to be in control and have power of everything. That’s just one of them the other assistant manager  are pretty chill to work with because they don’t abuse their power as assistance. As for which of the six dimensions of workplace climate  I think that number three is the one that described the climate of my work place. For the most part everyone is very collaborative with each other and none try to control people by using power.

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Friends-Prompt #2

I do believe that friendships are easier to break than those of family but not necessarily romantic. A family doesn’t just mean blood relation, many people have family in which they don’t share blood. The bond is so strong that people can find easy to make family outside of whom they share blood with. Romantic and friendships are on the same scale because both can lack the closeness, trust, and dedication, they can both falter. Most of the time romantic relationships usually start with friendships so they are built on similar foundations. Family, no matter the fault, always finds a way to mend or create a new bond, which can sometimes better a relationship. Many people may not agree with this, but with personal experience, I do believe family is above friends and romantic partners depending on the situation.

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Active Listening


Adrian Arellano


Professor Rodger

April 20, 2018


Out of all of the people i’ve ever met and talked to, I can really say that only one really possess the quality of being a real listener was my grandfather. The type of qualities that i would notice that he had, was the amount of question he had when I would talk to him. Every-time I would tell him how my day was in the farm, he would always ask how was the weather was , who was there and the time. He always like to visualize himself in  the places that I was at. Since do to his leg he wouldnt to go out much, so every afternoon he would wait for me and listen to how my day was , and everytime he would visualize himself there. I’ve been shot down plenty of times by my grandfather, regarding some of my business ideas that i introduced to him. It’s not that he doesn’t litensto me, its because he come from a different era and you doesn’t like change, so when it comes to that he doesn’t bother listening to me whatsoever. When we put a person perception and put out what the person is trying to communicate, it can be really difficult to continue the conversation, especially when at the end of the conversation ends with you opinion and then you left with a blank expression.  Author H. Jackson Brown, Jr. expression demonstrates a really good example on how it’s important to really get to talk and communicate with people, it all about who you know and they know, I like to by that saying since I use it in my everyday life

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Friends- Prompt #3

I think you can have several different types of friends. Some examples are your class friends, close friends, and work friends. Your class friends are probably the people you see every other day. I know that in my case I don’t really know much about their personal lives. For example, I have a friend that has sat next to me since the first day of classes. The only things I know about her are her name, the city that she lives in, and where she works. I don’t know anything about her family or other personal information.  We usually only talk about things that are related to the class. I don’t think it’s because she doesn’t trust me, but because I never see her out of class. Since we aren’t that close I don’t think either one of us is comfortable telling each other our personal information. My close friends consist of people who I probably see every single day and have known for a while. These are the people that I share my deepest secrets with. We tell each other absolutely everything. Last semester I became really close with all my roommates. I had one roommate that would walk around with no pants on because she wasn’t shy at all. We were in a room full of just girls, so nobody really cared. With my work friends I was also very open. All of the people there were girls my age, so it was easy to get along. These girls pretty much ended up being like my close friends. We had a group chat with everyone and we all knew each other’s business. Not all work friends are like this though. I think that at work you don’t get to socialize as much, therefore your coworkers probably don’t know much about you besides the basic stuff. You also need to keep things on a professional level, so you probably act more calm and not crazy like you would with your close friends. A lot of people act a certain way around certain people. I know I’m more quiet and conservative around class friends, but I can be open and loud with my close friends and work friends.


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An example of an agentic friend could be a teammate or a friend that tutors you. In the example of the teammate, you both are coming together to meet a common goal of playing on the same team and trying to win. If your friend can tutor you, then you are spending time together to achieve that practical goal. Examples of communal friends could be friends that play game nights together or a close study or book group. In both of these examples you are spending time and doing activities together and possibly offering emotional support.

Communication does vary with the two different types of friends. For agentic friends the communication implies the goal that is trying to be achieved. If your friend is a tutor, maybe your text message thread is just about finding a time to meet up for the lesson. At the lesson there would be small talk but nothing more personal. In fact, it is usually considered inappropriate to participate in emotion-sharing with agentic friends. For this reason there is less self disclosure with agentic friendships.

In communal friendships, since there is a focus on emotional support, there is more emotion sharing and self disclosure. The activity is sidelined for the communication happening between friends. Since there is a closeness in communal friendships, small talk is passed quickly. A good example of communal friends is the show Community. The show is about a group of community college students in a study group for their Spanish class. They quickly become like a family and the running joke is that, when they meet, they don’t even study Spanish. Instead, they share stories and experiences together.

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Friends Prompt 2

I used to believe that friends were forever and my mom used to tell me that I could not trust entirely in someone even if I call them “best friends.” My group of friends has always be really small. I grew up with three friends and I considered one of them my “best friend,” we went to kindergarten and elementary school together. We did everything together, and I truly believed that we were best friends but we start coming apart, and I started noticing that not everyone appreciates a friendship in the same way. I have experienced that in a lot of friendships jealousy gets in the way. Then, I moved to live to a different place and made new friends and once again I called someone my “best friend” but the same thing happened, and since that time I have not considered someone a “best friend.” I do have close friends, and I still keep in touch with friends that I am not as close anymore. So, I do agree that friendships are less stable and more likely to change. In the past five years my group of friends has been continuously changing. I think that friends are more accessible to break, and it is really hard to tell when someone is your true friend but I feel like friends cannot replace family because your family will always be there no matter what. Also, I think friendships are more likely to change than romantic relationships, or it might depend on the kind of romantic relationship because if you break up with your boyfriend/ girlfriend, your friends will still be there. But when the romantic relationship is more meaningful, and you create a more profound bond then I feel like is less possible to break off because now you are sharing your life with someone else and you are relying on each other.