HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

Verbal Communication (Prompt #4)

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The majority of the idioms I use with people are those who I feel very close to, such as my sister (not as much nowadays), close friends, some family but primarily my significant other. I do not really remember the personal idioms I would use with my family, sibling, or others because I do not use them much anymore. However, I do use a lot of the personal idioms with my significant other. One of my favorite things with getting close with someone is that we can tell each other “Fuck you, ya dweeb” and it meaning you love each other. I wouldn’t really call it tough love, because there is not any sort of negative feelings to it, it outright means we love the other. Some of the other examples include, “hun, honey, love, cutie, bun/bunny, family” and loads more of disgustingly cute names, it’s great. On the other end we also call each other names like, “nerd, weeb, fuckin memer” and the list goes on. The different names erupt different feelings and emotions but both sides are positive. While the cutesy names are romantic and sweet, the others are playful and show trust.

I think the relationships where I have the least idioms are probably professional settings and family. I am not very close to my biological family, and I try to limit my contact. I know the idioms they go by but I do not want to use them. Such as with my parents, it is hard for me to even think of them as Mom, Dad, etc. and I more so think of formal terms like Mother or Father. An example of negative idioms would be “goblins”, which I call a couple of my abusers to help cope.

I do not think that personal idioms are only positive, they can be negative although they are positive for the most part in my case. I enjoy using (the positive) personal idioms, it creates a feeling of closeness with whoever you use them with – especially if both sides use it. My boyfriend is kind of stoic and has a harder time with vulnerable emotions but he uses more personal idioms and more often than I do, which I think is an interesting contrast.

I want to use more personal idioms with friends I have, but it is harder for me to use them unless I have gotten to know the person for a year or so. Maybe it is just me but once I learn someone’s name it takes a lot of uncomfortable effort to call them by a nickname, for most people I only use one name.

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