HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

Active Listening (Prompt # 9)

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  • Being so interested in what you have to say that you listen mainly to find an opening to get the floor.

When talking about a topic that I am interested in and excited about, I am guilty of this. Especially if I think what I have to say is important to the conversation or would be good to say / tell the other person. One example would be talking about a road trip I planned and if I was excited to go to a specific place, waiting to be able to mention that place or my plan.

If someone says something wrong, meaning if they misunderstood something or what I said, I try and tell them as soon as I can that there was a misunderstanding.

I also do this sometimes if someone is a talker, or does not let me talk or put a word in, because I want to input as well. People sometimes talk over me, which is not too fun – and I try to find a place where I can put my input as well.

The other time when I do this is when I have something I am really excited about to tell the other person but they will not stop talking.

  • Formulating and listening to your own rebuttal to what the speaker is saying.

I do this a decent amount with people I know that ramble a lot. The main reason is so I can remember what I want to say, if I do not keep it in my mind and keep thinking about it I will lose the train of thought. It is not something I like to do since it makes me feel more overwhelmed because of having to remember extra, but if I do not do it I will forget. I suppose in order to limit this I can try and write some things I want to say down on paper.

I also tend to do this when I am in an argument or heated discussion, especially if we are both trying to prove out point. When I am angry or heated, I try and be calm but sometimes I just want to get my point out. I discuss things with a lot of people and it is always difficult if I cannot get a word in edgewise.

  • Not asking for clarification when you know that you do not understand.

Sometimes when I am too timid to ask someone who may get upset or think I am stupid, I just do not ask for clarification. This is mostly in class or when someone mentions a famous person or a topic and acts like I should know about it. I do not want to be teased so just not saying anything or asking about it works.

I know there are things I can do to become a better active listener, which I would certainly love to do. I would also like to learn how to help those that are close to me to become better active listeners so that our communication is better.

One thought on “Active Listening (Prompt # 9)

  1. I can relate with what you said in general and I am the same way when it comes to asking someone for clarification. I usually do this in class because no one wants to feel stupid or want people thinking what were asking is something simple that we shouldn’t need to ask about. I think it’s just a type of fear we all have at some point.


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