- Being so interested in what you have to say that you listen mainly to find an opening to get the floor.
When talking about a topic that I am interested in and excited about, I am guilty of this. Especially if I think what I have to say is important to the conversation or would be good to say / tell the other person. One example would be talking about a road trip I planned and if I was excited to go to a specific place, waiting to be able to mention that place or my plan.
If someone says something wrong, meaning if they misunderstood something or what I said, I try and tell them as soon as I can that there was a misunderstanding.
I also do this sometimes if someone is a talker, or does not let me talk or put a word in, because I want to input as well. People sometimes talk over me, which is not too fun – and I try to find a place where I can put my input as well.
The other time when I do this is when I have something I am really excited about to tell the other person but they will not stop talking.
- Formulating and listening to your own rebuttal to what the speaker is saying.
I do this a decent amount with people I know that ramble a lot. The main reason is so I can remember what I want to say, if I do not keep it in my mind and keep thinking about it I will lose the train of thought. It is not something I like to do since it makes me feel more overwhelmed because of having to remember extra, but if I do not do it I will forget. I suppose in order to limit this I can try and write some things I want to say down on paper.
I also tend to do this when I am in an argument or heated discussion, especially if we are both trying to prove out point. When I am angry or heated, I try and be calm but sometimes I just want to get my point out. I discuss things with a lot of people and it is always difficult if I cannot get a word in edgewise.
- Not asking for clarification when you know that you do not understand.
Sometimes when I am too timid to ask someone who may get upset or think I am stupid, I just do not ask for clarification. This is mostly in class or when someone mentions a famous person or a topic and acts like I should know about it. I do not want to be teased so just not saying anything or asking about it works.
I know there are things I can do to become a better active listener, which I would certainly love to do. I would also like to learn how to help those that are close to me to become better active listeners so that our communication is better.