HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

Emotions Prompt #11

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I hate to admit this, but I’ve used suppression several times in different situations. A recent situation involves a guy that I developed feelings for. We met last semester in the lobby of our building and it turned out he was my neighbor on the third floor. The first day we met he came to my suite and he hung out with all of my roommates and I. We all became close friends in a matter of days. There were several times when just us two hung out. We would go grocery shopping together or just hang out in his room and talk. I could tell he was a gentleman because when we went out he would pay for my stuff. Sometimes I would pay for everything because I think friendships should be fair and not one-sided. Since he lived next door I would see him every single day. Within a matter of months I realized that I was starting to catch feelings for him. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, so I kept it to myself so he wouldn’t find out. We continued to hangout as friends and the feelings just kept getting stronger and stronger. Eventually he was able to figure out what was going on. He confronted me about it and explained that I was a good person, but he wasn’t looking for anything serious. At this point I didn’t know if I could still be friends with him, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to avoid him because he lived next door. I was extremely upset about the situation and I regretted not telling him the truth. If I would’ve told him how I felt since the beginning I wouldn’t have gotten my own hopes up and then gotten hurt at the end. I think suppression is not a good emotion management strategy. You should be honest about your feelings because in the end it could cause you less pain.

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