HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

Mom Always Knows

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Through and through, I actually do believe that eyes are the windows of the soul. The eyes are the visual channel which we use consciously or subconsciously to look into another’s inner/personal realm, or psyche. I find kinesics to be the most powerful form of nonverbal communication. The visual channel is a strong dimension through which we can relay so much information to another during the process of communicating with others. . In fact, Eye contact is another crucial but often unnoticed feature in interpersonal communication, let alone body language. The simple dilation of the pupils, or squinting of our eyes can tell so much. Our eyes can be used to signal a wide variety of positive or negative emotion. I have come to realize in my experience that we tend to have better, more, stronger, eye contact with those we value and deeply care about. For example, eye contact is important with my mother. To tell the truth, my degree of eye contact is probably the highest with her. As a child, my mother taught me that eye contact is important especially when it came to instilling obedience in me.  Eye contact was enforced even harder with her during the instances where I would be scolded by her to pay attention. Through her I learned that eye contact displays that I am focused on her and what she has to say. Whenever my mother was displeased with my behavior or sought to make herself heard, she would use her eyes to shoot a petrifying glare at me. In turn, I unwittingly internalized this trait to express my emotions. I have learned several facial expressions from my mother and their effectiveness all derive from the eyes. Today, as an adult, I have realized that eye contact has and currently fulfills the purpose of building trust with a loved one. My high degree eye contact with my mom or any other close relative or friend, shows that I have a connection with them. It may even suggest that I trust and feel comfortable with them. Eye contact is so much more than a social phenomenon. It is the bridge for two psyches to meet ,interact, and resonate with each other.


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