HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

Conflict with a Brother

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My brother processes things a lot slower than other people. He listens but can’t manage to take into affect what is happening. For this reason, we clash heads the majority of the time. We love each other but sometimes he abuses his power.

Carlos is four years older than me. For this reason, he thinks he can manipulate me into doing anything for him and most of the time, it works in his favor. For example, he likes to guilt me into going to the store with him and buying him snacks or some useless shit he does not need at all. As of today, he has about five Bluetooth speakers which i have helped pay for and don’t get to use at all.

But the real issue that causes conflict between the both of us is when we get angry with each other and we begin to call each other names. I am more of a hot head compared to him so i’ll admit that i am usually the first to snap. I don’t mean to, but i typically get so angry that i just burst out in frustration. But he is no saint either. I tend to be a really guilty person and i feel bad for hurting someone’s feelings so i stop but he keeps going each time the insult getting worse and worse. Top hear my family call me these names is one thing but Carlos is more than a brother to me, he is practically my best friend, and to hear these names coming from his mouth is extremely hurtful.

I feel like this has affected our relationship majorly because every time we get better, his voice still lingers in my head. It’s like i will never get over what he said to me. Maybe it’s the same vice-versa. After we fight, we avoid each other in anyway possible. We are heated and don’t want to be reminded of the reason why. After a few days we begin talking to each other again never really apologizing to each other so the conflict never really goes away.

A way in which we could possibly change our communication is by having a sit down and talking about our feelings. We could also end the conflict by apologizing and by owning up to what we have said.

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