HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

I Could Have Avoided a Cheater

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I avoided a really bad conflict that could have easily been avoided if I had made the right decision.

I was in a relationship where after awhile nothing was the same. I was not happy, but it seemed like he was. We had been in the relationship for just a few months, but our honeymoon phase was super short lived. I no longer made as much of an effort to hang out with him for the entire lunch period and I stopped laughing at his jokes. The spark and feelings had seemed to be gone, but I could not bring myself to end the relationship entirely. I felt bad for some reason. I have no idea if it was the idea of hurting someone or breaking their heart, but every time I would just bring up the idea of parting ways I always quickly took it back. I really do not know why I made the choice to stay in a relationship where I was not happy. I did not put my happiness before his, I was putting his before mine and that is not fair in any way.

As it turned out, I was not the only unhappy one in the relationship. He had been cheating on me with one of his girl friends. I was not very crushed as I was not necessarily into the relationship. Though, I was hurt because I did not leave the relationship purely because I did not want to hurt him, while he stayed with me while being unhappy and just went behind my back. At the end of the day, I came out on top because I was ultimately happy to be out of the unhealthy relationship.

If I could go back, I would have found a way to build up the courage and broken up with him when I first realized I was unhappy. I really would have liked to avoid the whole cheating scenario, that is for certain. I would have also maybe tried to even talk to him about it because then maybe we could have fixed our issues and possibly lasted longer than a few months. So many things could have had different outcomes and now that I am older I realize those things.

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