HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

Conflict can be good too

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One case in which I can most definitely say that conflict improved a relationship is the relationship between me and my mom. I am adopted and was adopted later in life, so my relationship with my parents has always been a little more complicated to understand, since we had a late start to the development of a relationship and a late start to learning each other and how we each deal with things (and how we would deal with them as a family).

My mom and I had a rough patch from the time I was 14-15. This is because I went through my first depressive state as her child. She was aware when she adopted me that I had depression but she had never experienced it, so she didn’t know how to understand. Her lack of understanding left us at a loss of resolution or compromise and we loss almost all of the connection we had built up as mother-daughter and suddenly we were more like therapist-patient.

This changed when I started to fight back to my mom. I told her she didn’t have to baby me and constantly take care of me, that I had to figure shit out on my own, and we began to argue about this. She said that it was healthy to communicate and talk and I told her it was healthy to be happy, but that I wasn’t. She started to understand then, in that moment, and ever since then we have had a great connection.

All it took was one fight. One big argument, and my mom is now my best friend.

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