HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

Maybe Should’ve Met In Person

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Earlier this year, I was in a situation with a sort-of friend where he had been depressed (as had I) and we sort of leaned on each other for support. Already off to a bit of a bad start, two mentally unwell people trying to gain support from each other. When we’d meet in person, we wouldn’t typically talk too much about what had been going on, that was something we reserved for when we were texting. There’s a whole slew of problems with that, and they began to start culminating. One time about a month ago, he had been continually texting me about how he was upset about all these different things, I offered to not talk to him about certain things if that’d make him feel better, he just continued going on and on and we went back and forth until eventually out of nowhere he hits me with some strong sass and backhanded comments, completely out of nowhere. I decided to just leave him alone until he was ready to apologize for acting like a dick, he didn’t for a while, eventually three weeks later (of us barely talking) he messages me back with more backhanded comments about how I obviously don’t care about him enough to even talk to him. Since I was getting somewhat heated about it, I decided to continue having this discussion through the medium of technology as opposed to saying “Hey, look, maybe we should meet in person and talk about this?” The back and forth continued of kind of pointing fingers at each other, trying to find out who was in the wrong, until it turned out that he had misinterpreted my words of encouragement as words of condescension. This is not entirely my fault, as he could have just as easily asked for clarification instead of later blaming all of his actions on me and making it seem as if I must have responsibility for what he did, but if anything, it was a fair learning experience.

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