HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

The Voice of Our Parents

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I don’t know about you but I can clearly hear my parents’ voices in my head whenever something reminds me of them. When it comes to my parents, I have both positive and negative reactions to hearing their voices depending on the specific tone they take. Simply on how they call out my name can cause a high stress reaction or a reliving reaction. Years of being comforted and scalded by them has caused a wide variety to awareness to the mood that my folks are displaying when talking to me. The way people speak is just as important as what it is that is being said.

I believe that it’s completely ethical to judge based on someone’s voice. People aren’t going to simply ignore someone that sounds threatening or just speaks in a way that raises concern. One personal experience I’ve had was when I was walking with my girlfriend outside a 7-11 and this random guy was angrily speaking to himself. I wasted no time grabbing my girlfriend’s shoulder and moving her away from that guy’s direction.I’m sure that there some kind of context that may or may not justify this guy talking that way but I don’t care what it is. I’m not going to risk our safety in order to protect this guy’s feelings.

Though I don’t consider myself a “victim”, I did once have an incident where a nurse thought I was threatening her because I was frustrated with her piss-poor care. Context for this is long and not something worth addressing here, but the fact is that I was simply angry. I was not threatening her or anything like that but that’s just how she chose to hear it. I don’t blame her for reacting that way since she was just reacting as she saw fit, and I do believe that’s how it should be when reacting to the tone of those around us.


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