HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

You can’t do it

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For as long as I can remember, I have always had a pretty shitty support system. The biological side of my family that I still keep in touch with have always felt that they themselves were the best individuals to come out of our family line, bashing others who have any other ideas. This side of the family is so dominant and so self-involved that they take the ideas and opinions of others and leave them with nothing but despair or regret for bringing up the topic.

I can remember one specific occasion in which I told my biological aunt that I wanted to go to college. This was before I was adopted and still lived with my biological mother and siblings. My older siblings hadn’t graduated high school and all had children by the time they were 20. This seemed the likely path that my triplet siblings and I were to soon follow, but I had faith. I always thought that not only would I graduate, unlike any body else in my family, but I would go to college and law school and one day be a lawyer or professor.

Well, my Aunt Tina didn’t think so. She thought that she was just an angel for graduating high school, being one of the only persons in our family to do so. She thought that I couldn’t amount to anything. She told me that I would be lucky if I made it to 17 without a kid and if I would even graduate high school. My aunt even went as far as to say that even if I did graduate, I would have such shitty grades that I would never get into college.

This didn’t happen, obviously. My aunt, who I haven’t talked to in years, gets annual updates from my adoptive mom about my life, just so she can see how much she motivated me. I used her, along with many other members of the family, as an example of what not to be and now I am becoming all that I want to be. She was surprised to hear that I graduated, I have no children, I am in college, I am graduating college a year early, and I have a minor in Pre-Law so I can attend law school after I get my B.A.

I used self-reflection to determine what I wanted, and did not, want to achieve in my lifetime. I used this concept as a means of motivation and a set idea of my future goals. Self-reflection and my stubborn personality are the reasons that I am achieving all that I have ever wished of.

 

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