HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

“That’s Stupid”

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I am the youngest child in my family. I grew up in a household with only men and I feel as if my gender has a lot to do with the fact that I am unheard in my family. Growing up, I always did what my brothers were doing. Whether we were playing with each other or I was alone, I always did what I thought they liked. My brothers were always the ones who determined where we were going to go that day and what we were going to do there. It always came down to them.

One day, I wanted to do something that I liked that was something that my brothers hated. I wanted to go to Santa Anita Park and watch the horse races with my entire family. My parents agreed to let me plan a whole weekend for us together. Friday night we were to have dinner at King Taco but my brothers wanted Burger King. Saturday morning we were to go to the Arboretum and then we would head to Santa Anita Park. My brothers hated the entire day because they hate the Arboretum and they didn’t want to watch horses race. They wanted to go to the drag races and then go to the movies and watch a movie similar to the concept of Jackass.

After having the conversation with my family and being shot down by my brothers, I felt like actual shit. These were things that I felt were fun and entertaining and being told otherwise made me feel as if i wasn’t fun and entertaining. I was in a foul mood and I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Constantly being told “No.” “That’s stupid.” “Boring.” was a lot to take in. To me, it was unfair because I always did and watched everything they wanted to do. Never once did I not do it. If I were to say no, I would immediately feel bad and give in to my emotions and try to satisfy my older brothers.

I believe that negative feedback can be helpful,but I also believe that negative feedback is not always taken lightly. In other words, I believe that almost everyone that receives negative feedback and says that they are okay afterwards, is lying. To me, there is no way that someone can think so highly and great about an idea they have and being shot down afterwards not affect them. To me, it isn’t personal but it does affect you in some sort of way.

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