HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

Listening To Someone With The Wrong Idea

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I had multiple situations that I have listened for the wrong reason, especially listening to my girlfriend. Just like the video in class, I was always trying to give solutions, but all she wanted was me to comfort her.

There was once she told me about problems she encountered at her college. She brought up issues like her studies, friends, social life, and so on. I provided her all kinds of solutions that I could think of, because I thought that was what she wanted. After the long talk on the phone, she was still not happy. I asked her was there something else she didn’t told me. She then got mad and stopped talking. I tried my best to make her smile again and luckily it worked.

She told me she just wanted some comfort. I didn’t know that. I think most men will try to give solutions to their partners and ends up in the same situation like me, or even worse.

Since then, whenever she shares her story with me, I would still give her advices but this time they come with comfort.

Hint for men: If you encounter situations like this, just comfort her. It will save you time for thinking a solution for your girl. You can stay lazy and keep your girl at the same time.

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