HCOM 214: Interpersonal COMM & Conflict

Learning interpersonal communication skills to improve every part of our lives

“Facing” the Facts

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In our lives today, the world is constantly changing due to a vast variety of different media platforms that expand our social interests, involvement, and relationships. Personally for entertainment, I mainly flock to Youtube where I watch morning podcasts regarding fitness, business lectures, and the occasionally viral video circling the web. I tend to listen to hiphop music generally when I’m getting dressed in the morning or getting ready to workout to get me “jump started,” and energized for the day. However, when I’m driving or relaxing with friends I’ll turn to pop music to relax to. From these observations someone could infer that I value pop culture as most of my outlets could be categorized as trends of youth, although there should be a noticeable investment in fitness and healthy living depicted as a result of my focus. I believe to some degree that the media influences the way we view ourselves especially, in regards to appearance. Personally I have noted that I often compare myself to male fitness entrepreneurs, as I aspire to attain their seemingly advanced athletic physiques, and as I often look up to very successful entrepreneurs in our society, and wonder how I can become as rich or successful as they are.

Of the four attachment styles I would say that I tend to demonstrate secure attachment, as I was always taught the importance of intimacy in relationships, and I greatly valued the friendships I acquired as I grew, however I would be able to stand independent from them if need be. An example that would legitimize my argument would be my relationship to my parents. I was raised in a very loving and attentive environment with my mom and dad, and I always felt very safe around them, however I was taught to be independent as our relationship grew. Through my teenage years until now, I have always felt that I could safely turn to them when I needed advice, or if a problem arose, however they have taught me valuable lessons to handle situations myself by providing a comforting and loving environment at home that I can always depend on. Especially this last year with college finances I was supported with a monthly budget, and at times when I would spend over the monthly amount, I would need to make ends meet for the time being, and learn to become better at handling my money rather than being bailed out by them.

One occasion where I lost face was in high school during wrestling season. I always knew myself as a hard worker, but in my junior year I grew lazy during Christmas break and showed up late to practice more than once around New Years. I was scolded accordingly, and I remember the shame I felt as I was told by a teammate

“if it was important to you, you would have gotten here on time.”

As a result I showed up 2o minutes early for practice from there on out for the next couple of weeks to regain the respect of my teammates and my coaches.Within the next week things were back to normal, and I felt I had redeemed my commitment to the team by demonstrating this amount of discipline. In comparison to the text, I believe I followed the procedure outlined given that it called for actions to make amends for mistakes to regain the social representation lost. Through this experience I believe I regained the “face” of a hard worker, and a dedicated member of the team who was accountable and disciplined.

Being an athlete in high school gave me sense of pride that I carried into college. However, because I was no longer a part of a competitive team I felt a sense of depression and identity loss for a while, as I felt that I no longer had anything to identify with, and no objective to work towards in regards to athleticism. It wasn’t until I discovered competitive bodybuilding that I began to rekindle that “fire” I once felt as new competitive drive was introduced into my life. I will admit at times I have a sense of insecurity in this area as the sports I have been involved in throughout my life are extremely difficult, but not often appreciated in the community, however I try to stay positive and appreciate my opportunity to compete and define myself by respective accomplishments and constant personal growth. Having the label of an “athlete” has always been very important to me, and I admit there have been many occasions where I have sought out comfort and self-esteem through this means of identification.

In regards to social media, I mainly use Instagram, and I manage a small Youtube fitness account. As of recently, my posts have mainly included pictures of family and friends at social or athletic events. If an employer was to investigate my activity, they would be likely to come to the conclusion that I valued these aspects in a large regard, and that I don’t have a large interest in partying or drinking. Although this is true, I one day hope to become largely influential in the realm of fitness and multimedia, and I have failed in this regard to post as frequently as I would like to in the spectrum of public outreach and networking. I need to continue to make an effort to become more consistent, and involved in my media platforms to gain notoriety in this regard as I have been told by numerous people in the industry that exposure is the key to a successful career.

Although the “too much too soon” problem has never occurred in a relationship in my life, I will admit that I would feel very uncomfortable with someone who divulges their life’s problems constantly or too early in a relationship with me. This sort of negativity is a “no no” for me, and I feel that divulging too much information in this area is toxic, and should be limited for close relationships that have been constant for long periods of time. As previously mentioned I was loved very much growing up, but self reliance was an essential skill that I was taught was important, so an excessive amount of complaining or venting is unattractive to me in this regard.

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