In 11th grade, I transferred to a new high school. I had been eligible to take Honors English and was late on my first day because I was lost. As I entered my class, the teacher quickly said ‘are you in the right class?’ I didn’t understand what she meant, but innocently I replied ‘yes I am.’ The teacher took my schedule and later sent me to the principals office. The teacher felt that I was not suitable for the rigor of the course.
Many see Mexicans as people that are lazy or dumb and that’s exactly what I felt was going on here. From that point on, I felt inferior to all of my classmates who were labeled as being geniuses because they were Asian. I always saw the most unintelligent side of myself that year and every time I got a bad grade, I always replayed the scenario in my head and saw myself as being dumb.
The label of me being dumb because of me being Mexican completely changed the way I look at myself and how I have been in relationships. It has affected my self-concept because I look at myself as less than others even though I had been receiving the same education. When it came to tests, I wasn’t surprised if I got a C or lower, getting an A or B was astonishing, and getting any type of award was completely insane. When it came to people telling me I was so smart and going places, I refused to take the compliment and instead made excuses as to why i was so lucky that one time. It was just luck. It was not my intelligence, dedication, or hard-work. It took quite some time before I realized and learned that it was just that, that got me where I am today.